Tuesday, June 8, 2010
This question is motivated by the realization that they are stuck in the drama of their life.
To a large degree they have become the sum total of all the traumas and illnesses they have experienced.
It is interesting how many times after a few weeks of the healing treatments at the Hansa Center I will ask these people how they are feeling on all levels on this day.
And they will reply, “Oh, Dr. Jernigan, if you only knew how much suffering I have had to endure to get to here!”
I ask again, “I understand and heard your story on your first office visit, but how are you doing on THIS day?” “Well”, they reply, “I don’t have any of the symptoms today…but do you understand how much I have suffered, given up, lost, and spent to get here?”
“Yes I can imagine.” “Now if you didn’t have illness to think about every minute of the day, who would you be now?”
“But Dr. Jernigan, what if it comes back?”
“What if it doesn’t?” I respond.
“You are not the sum total of all the crud you have experienced. You must decide to put away the things of the past…and the past is everything prior to this moment…and this moment…”
Every moment we are alive, we get the opportunity to choose who we will be.
Even when pain and illness persist the same question remains, “If pain never went away, then who do I want to be in spite of it…now?”
As a doctor I have been blessed to meet beautiful people who have consciously and purposely decided that they are lovable outside of their pain and suffering…that they can get outside of their past story, taking it off like an old coat, and decide to be completely loving and compassionate and functional in each moment.
These people have taught me that they came to the realization that they could lie around at home feeling despondent and in pain, or they could live life to its fullest…with pain.
They are teachers, and artists, mothers and fathers, engineers and musicians, mechanics and lawyers who to the casual onlooker appear completely normal.
You are lovable.
You can choose now who you want to be now.
The world is full of people who wish they could do something or be something.
Live only within each moment without defining the moment based on any past or future moment.
Pursue joy within each moment. Radiate that joy from your entire being to the world around you.
Tell yourself, “I am not the sum total of all of the trauma I have experienced!
Ask yourself, “Who do I want to be now?” and be that in every moment.